"First we need to remember that as their identities are being formed during adolescence, most young people live out of 'multiple selves.' Kids will have one 'self' they live out of at school (actually several, because in each class and activity they need to live out of the 'self' that's safest for them at the time), another 'self' at home, and still another 'self' at your ministry. They also feel the need to express these selves differently in the various roles they assume in their lives - such as with sports, in different classes, at church, and at home. This in turn causes them to stay on guard constantly to determine which role is the most appropriate to 'put on' in any given setting."
Deep Ministry in a Shallow World - "Deep Communication: Why Doesn't our teaching change kids' lives?" by Chap Clark
There's more of this in his book Hurt.
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