The youth worker's openness to the adolescent must be balanced with closedness. As Bonhoeffer says, 'The "openness" of the person demands "closedness" as a correlative, or one could not speak of openness at all.' WE must be able to say, 'Sorry, I am on vacation. I will get back to you.' 'Please don't stop over at dinner time, my family and I are eating.' 'It's late. Call me in the morning.' Or simply, 'I am not available, I need some time away.'

to be closed to the adolescent is to be for the adolescent. In being closed, we allow the adolescent to recognize us as other, not as a personal possession but a distinct human being who is complicated and beautiful in our won right. Being able to say no to young people communicates that ministry is a person to person and not producer to consumer."

- Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry